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Was he talking to me? February 22, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmooney @ 12:32 am

Recently Bobby and I were discussing the idea of writing being my creative outlet. I have always enjoyed writing, and really have been able to express things better on paper than out loud(even though I talk alot!) I feel like it is a gift that God has given me, because he didn’t give me a good singing voice, and I have always been a little bitter about that!! 🙂 Anyways, this morning after an amazing worship service, Mark got up to say a few words before offering. To me, he could really just say something before offering and not do a sermon, because usually I am blown away by his wisdom in those few minutes! Not that I don’t absolutely love his sermons!

Well, the few words he said spoke to me big time:
If it weren’t for Paul we wouldn’t have these letters. Maybe God had to slow Paul down to get him to sit and write about the things he wrote. -Mark Shell(paraphrased)

My eyes welled up with tears. Was he talking directly to me? Was God trying to tell me something? There are no coincidences. Is God through my mental illness, “slowing me down” so I can tell people what he has to say to them? Could God possibly use me through my writing? The answer is yes. Not that I am comparing my words to Paul’s by any means. Paul was an incredible author, an incredible man who one can only strive to be like! But I feel as if  God wants to use me. God wants me to be willing to follow him in whatever direction he has for me. The truth is simple as Mark spoke about this morning, I am to WAIT upon the Lord. Not wait like watching time go by, but wait as in Lord, I am here to wait on you, to serve you. Such a simple concept, yet my mind has not wrapped around it untill today. God has so much more for me, for you! God has given everyone special gifts, so that you may glorify him through your gifts. So with this said, I will be doing a lot of blogging, some things spiritual and some things just because it is on my heart.

So join me on my adventure that God is taking me on, I would love to share it with you!


Back to Blogging February 16, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmooney @ 7:13 pm

I am going to try to start blogging alot more again. So make sure you keep coming back to stay updated on our life, and random bits of knowledge I may drop now and then!! I figured I should start and update since the last time I blogged.

Home Situation:

Where do I start last time I updated you, Mandolin was 4 months old, now she is 18 months old. Our life has been pretty exciting over the past 14 months! We moved to Centralia in November of 2009. We LOVE it there. It is so nice to be in the same town as my family. I love having our own house a fresh start for us all. We got a rediculous deal on this house, it was a foreclosure that hadn’t been trashed or anything, it was an older lady who just left and so we just had to paint(actually the Becker small group did it!) and clean(they did that too!) and it was ready to be our home. Side note, I wasn’t doing real well last fall dealing with major depression, in and out of the hospital, and the Becker small group from our church volunteered to come in and get our house ready, it was an aboslute gift from God. Those people were a blessing far beyond what they could ever imagine!

The Girls:

Faith is now 9 years old, going on 15. She has grown into such a beautiful young lady, with a personality to boot! She is going to be a heart-breaker! She has a kind, sweet, strong spirit, and is really starting to discover who she is. She loves with all her heart, cares about others, and has a heart for Christ. She loves to do what’s right, loves to please us (that should end soon right?) and adores her Grandparents! We have really bonded over the past few years and have grown a love for one another that is really feeling natural. She is what I like to think of as my “bonus” child, not step-child, she was definately a bonus that I got when I married Bobby. I can’t imagine my life without her. She is really starting to explore her sense of humor too, starting to get sarchasim, and return it. She got all A’s on her report card, and to which she responded when she was praised, they weren’t A+’s! She strives to do her best in everything. I thank God so much for her. As I tell her, she will always be my first baby girl.

Mandolin-Where do I start?! Talk about your little personality. She is beautiful, sweet, sensitive, funny, hard headed(she must get that from her dad ;), silly, loves to make people laugh, and LOVES ATTENTION! She has really grown into a toddler over the past few months, putting words together such as it’s cold, me too! She knows she wears her coat out and when we are getting ready to leave she says coat and will go to the coat closet to grab it! She loves her Nanny Debbie, Papa Tony,Mama Kitty, and Papa Fred so much! She loves to be out and about and loves to eat lunch at nanny and papas, so we go around 11 am, so usually around 1030 she is getting me my shoes and coat to go bye bye! She is a great sleeper and now when you ask if she is ready for bed she says yeah or K! She really has grown alot, more than I could have ever imagined! She lights up my life, and makes me feel a way that I never knew possible. She is everything I dreamed she would be, and so much more!

Married Life

We have almost been married 3 years now. I think I am even more in love with him than I was when we got married. I can say this with all honesty, nothing fake about it, we were made for each other. We get through struggles together, we cry together, we laugh together, and we grow together. He truely is everything I have prayed for. I am so thankful for his quiet strength. I know that may sound sickening, but it is so true. We love each other without fail, that is God, not us as humans, we were truely put together by God, and he has blessed our marriage so much.


Well, we went through a rough patch, I don’t know what happened but my brain started misfiring right before Mandolin’s first Birthday and threw me and the whole family for a loop. I went through this “hell” for about 4 months, waking up everyday having no idea how I was going to feel or react. Not being able to control my emotions or my thoughts. Getting all of my responsibilities stripped away from me because I simply couldn’t even hardly take a bath or get dressed. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with, watching my girls and not feeling that love that I feel, seeing my husband and knowing how excited I was to see him and not being able to pass that message to the rest of my body and mind to have the proper response on the outside, I would have visitors that I couldn’t be more happy to see and simply couldn’t even smile. It was truely something chemically wrong in my body. I was admitted to the hospital to a psych unit a little south of Mount Vernon, after that I was admitted to Centralia Psych unit, stayed for a while, left, and then a couple weeks later was then re-admitted for cutting myself, not long after that I took 22 of my sleeping medication in a suicide attempt, they were able to detox my body from all the harmful chemicals and sent me on my way. After being on 4 antidepresants a couple anti-anxiety medications and everytime we would call my psychiatrist they would double something, I was way overmedicated. I would almost go days without talking, which if you know me at all you know that is WAY out of character! We finally got our blessing in November after being referred to a Doctor in Florida by my cousins Resa and Richie Neff. I went to Dr. Sponaugle and got put on the proper medication after they studied my blood work, and went home a different woman. God is funny ya know, he works in crazy ways, he was with me that whole time, he loved me and held me during times when I thought I was going to die. I felt his holy spirit so much, I had to draw close to him because he is the great comforter. He is my God, he is my strength, he is my life. Without Christ I am afraid I would be dead. God is using this Christian mand Dr. Sponaugle to work miracles. I am so thankful for the family that we had that at the drop of a hat would loan us the money to head to Florida on what seemed at the time as a wild goose change. For those of you who think depression is something you can just get over, most of the time it isn’t and I have the blood work to prove it! A side note, I want to thank Bobby and my parents for being my strong hold during my sickness, for being there, for being strong and for loving me reguardless of how I was acting. I thank everyone for their prayers, cards and support. Those cards meant more to me than you will ever know. For those of you who visited me in the hospital you will never know what that meant to me. As for my depression, we are still getting all my medications figured out, but I am so much better than I was a few months ago. I am able to love my girls and take care of them, love my husband and be with him and talk(he may want that part to go back to the way it was hehe!), be with my parents and laugh! God is so amazing, and so powerful, even when I hit bumps in the road now, as a human it is hard to understand what he is doing, but he knows, and after all, our life is like a snap of the fingers compared to the time we get to spend with our creator!

Well, I think that about covers it all. Sorry if I brought you down with the last one, I just wanted everyone to know from my point of view what had happened. Nugget of wisdom, God has a reason for everything that happens, God is in control, and God knows WAY more than you ever think you do!:) Thanks for reading and I will be updating a lot more so stay tuned!!!


An Update on the Girls January 7, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmooney @ 2:49 pm

cimg31891Faith is getting all E’s in school, E’s are the same as A’s at her school, her teacher of course is in love with her, she is growing up so much, starting to even look like a pre-teen, pretty different from the 6 year old that I first met! We are going to Disney on Ice on Thursday and she is totally pumped! That’s all she can talk about now. She found out this year that there is no Santa, that was pretty rough. Then she just decided that she was going to still believe in him and just think that adults just don’t believe in him. She’s something!:)

cimg3217Mandolin is now 4 months and 2 weeks old! She is getting big! She is starting to not look like a newborn anymore. She can now roll over, laugh, smile, raise her upper body when she is on her tummy, and has learned that standing is way more fun than sitting so majority of the time when you hold her she wants to be standing. She is still a joy, and has learned to talk (baby talk that is) She gets louder everyday. She has become so much more aware of the things around her. She really has come out of her shell the past couple of weeks.

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Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmooney @ 2:44 pm

Our Christmas was the best Christmas we had had together. We decided to make Christmas more about Christ than presents. It worked amazingly. We did 7 days of Christmas, where the girls each got a present everyday and as the days went on the presents increased in dollar amount. Faith loved it! Mandolin didn’t have a clue what was going on, and Bobby and I really enjoyed everyday! In the end Faith and Mandolin both got things that they needed and a few things that were not completely necessary but fun!

Bobby and I continued our tradition of not spending more than $10 on each other and it is still amazing. We decided that nobody gets as great of presents as me and him do for each other. (personal opinion!) He handmade me a jewelry box, and it was precious, since we were dating he said he wanted to get me a jewelry box because I am always losing jewelry, so every time we were somewhere with jewelry boxes he would just look at them, and of course we never had the money for one,  but I got a jewelry box better than any jewelry box I had ever seen. He took the time to hand make me this one. I had journaled for him for one month, starting on November 25th, every day, I just went over the day and told him the things that I loved about him through that day. He really liked it. I was glad!

New Years was normal, we decided to make date night on New Year’s eve this week, so the girls went to Grandma Debbie’s and Grandpa Tony’s and we went to Applebees, and to a movie, and fell asleep at 1130…oops! Faith was pretty tired at mom and dad’s and from what I hear she was too tired to go bang pots and pans so she asked if she could just say clang clang instead!:) She’s so cute!

Overall our holiday season was great! It was a whole new experience with a baby. I loved every minute of it. It is truly amazing to watch Mandolin experience things for the first time, it is my new favorite thing. I can’t wait to take her to the zoo this summer and see her experience seeing all the animals for the first time!(random thought lol)mandolinandfaith11


Materialism November 17, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmooney @ 4:22 pm

I don’t know why this is so much on my mind lately, it could be due to the commercialism of Christmas, the fact that now Christmas really in most people’s mind has nothing to do with Christ our saviors birth, but has to do with how many presents people are getting.

I have decided to not let my possessions own me, to not let my want for materialistic items make me unhappy. I am not going to be defined by or made to feel bad because of the name brand that I am wearing or  the restaurants I haven’t been to, nor will I raise my children to be that way. Materialism makes me sick especially to see it in the Christian faith, where it is clearly and obviously wrong.

1Timothy  6-8 A devout life does bring wealth, but it’s the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. Since we entered the world penniless and will leave it penniless, if we have bread on the table and shoes on our feet, that’s enough.(the Message)

God has planned so much more for us than to be simply defined by our possessions. God has created us to be complex. I hate it that people (especially youth) feel like they are worthless or less valuable than someone who can afford THINGS. I want to help the less fortunate, I want to make them feel like they are just as valuable than those who can afford THINGS. I want to be able to geniunely love people, without judging them or having an “agenda”. I want to be myself, not who everyone else wants me to be, I don’t want to get caught up in shallow conversations about commercialism, I want to know people’s hearts, when I ask someone how they are doing I want to listen to their response, really listen. I know this is probably a lot of rambling to most of you but it is how I feel and felt i needed to blog about it, thanks for reading!

Bobby-hold me accountable.


To my husband… November 13, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmooney @ 6:14 pm

I was just thinking about what my life would be like without my husband. It makes me sad. I can’t imagine my life without him in it. He is the biblical example of what a husband should be. He makes my days 100 times better than what they would be without him. He has blessed me with a beautiful daughter who has given me a new purpose in life and he loves me unconditionally. Really…unconditionally. His love for me is like a romance novel that you can only read, and not imagine living a life like that. He makes my everyday a fairytale. And you may think to yourself, now Erin you are being dramatic, but I am not. He is everything I have ever dreamed of. He puts up with me in my crazy insecure times and enjoys me when I am not those things!:) He has given me a security and a hope that I have never known before. He makes me me. He makes me comfortable with being who God made me to be and I love that about him. He hates it when I am hurt or someone else has hurt me almost like he is hurt himself, he is amazing. I know I’ve blogged about him before but today is  a new day and I love him in a whole bigger and better way than I did when I wrote about him before.

Side note: Mandolin is sleeping through the night and smiling. She is still a great baby with very seldom crying, she makes having a baby seem like a piece of cake!


Just an update… October 9, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmooney @ 1:37 pm

Hey everyone it’s been a while. I have been a little busy! Mandolin will be seven weeks old tomorrow. I can’t believe it, this time has flown by. The last time I wrote about her my heart was just overflowing with love, I didn’t know I could love her anymore and then each day came. I have gotten to know her better, and she has shown some of herself in the past several weeks. She is a great baby, does she cry ? yes, does she fuss? Yes, is she really really noisey sometimes? Definitely, But, she makes me smile all the time, she makes me giggle like a little girl, she makes me be the most uninhibited I have ever been in my life, she is one of the best and biggest blessings God has ever trusted me with. Here I sit getting emotional thinking about how much I love her, and how she has turned my life upside down, and I will never be the same. But enough gooshy stuff, she smiled for the first time last week, that was ridiculous!:) Talk about my heart melting! She laughs in her sleep every so often and it is the sweetest thing! She is going to be a strawberry for halloween (Thank you to Megan!), I am so excited about that! Let’s see, what else is new? Faith wants to be some character off of Camp Rock, the costume is alot like what she wears everyday, but thats what she wants so I’m ok with it (It will make for a cheap costume!) she is in 3rd grade, and is doing great. She gets to ride the bus to school and home most days, which makes her pretty big stuff! I think she will really enjoy Mandolin alot more when she gets a bit bigger and isn’t so delicate, she is going to make such a great big sister! Bobby is really doing lots of cool things with the youth, we just got done with Battle of the Airbands, that was fun. He is doing some video and sound install in Wayne City at a new church there, that was a blessing! Me? I am staying at home with Mandolin everyday and love my life soo much. I think that about covers it. Thanks for stopping by.